Ring Lardner by Ring Lardner
Author:Ring Lardner
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Library of America
Published: 2015-02-04T00:00:00+00:00
VI
When weâd came to Boston Ike was hittinâ plain .397. When we got back home heâd fell off to pretty near nothinâ. He hadnât drove one out oâ the infield in any oâ them other Eastern parks, and he didnât even give no excuse for it.
To show you how bad he was, he struck out three times in Brooklyn one day and never opened his trap when Cap ast him what was the matter. Before, if heâd whiffed oncet in a game heâd of wrote a book tellinâ why.
Well, we dropped from first place to fifth in four weeks and we was still goinâ down. I and Carey was about the only ones in the club that spoke to each other, and all as we did was remind ourself oâ what a boner weâd pulled.
âItâs goinâ to beat us out oâ the big money,â says Carey.
âYes,â I says. âI donât want to knock my own ball club, but it looks like a one-man team, and when that one manâs dauberâs down we couldnât trim our whiskers.â
âWe ought to knew better,â says Carey.
âYes,â I says, âbut why should a man pull an alibi for beinâ engaged to such a bearcat as she was?â
âHe shouldnât,â says Carey. âBut I and you knowed he would or weâd never started talkinâ to him about it. He wasnât no more ashamed oâ the girl than I am of a regular base hit. But he just canât come clean on no subjecâ.â
Cap had the whole story, and I and Carey was as popâlar with him as an umpire.
âWhat do you want me to do, Cap?â Careyâd say to him before goinâ up to hit.
âUse your own judgment,â Capâd tell him. âWe want to lose another game.â
But finally, one night in Pittsburgh, Cap had a letter from his missus and he come to us with it.
âYou fellas,â he says, âis the ones that put us on the bum, and if youâre sorry I think theyâs a chancet for you to make good. The old ladyâs out to St. Joe and sheâs been tryinâ her hardest to fix things up. Sheâs explained that Ike donât mean nothinâ with his talk; Iâve wrote and explained that to Dolly, too. But the old lady says that Dolly says that she canât believe it. But Dollyâs still stuck on this baby, and sheâs pininâ away just the same as Ike. And the old lady says she thinks if you two fellas would write to the girl and explain how you was always kiddinâ with Ike and leadinâ him on, and how the ball club was all shot to pieces since Ike quit hittinâ, and how he acted like he was goinâ to kill himself, and this and that, sheâd fall for it and maybe soften down. Dolly, the old lady says, would believe you before sheâd believe I and the old lady, because she thinks itâs her weâre sorry for, and not him.â
Well, I and Carey was only too glad to try and see what we could do.
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